Confessions of a Wayward Diet Goddess

So many things! First, there is some exciting stuff going on at my gym, but I can't talk too much about it because I've been sworn to secrecy. I know that probably 99.9% of you don't give a fig and don't even know what gym I go to, but I don't know who lurks - AND I've been entrusted to keep a secret and I will not break that trust. What I can reveal is that I'm probably going to be talking more and more about CrossFit, so get ready!

I've been doing CrossFit workouts, and I knew it in my brain, but I chose not to acknowledge it simply because CrossFit, to me, is for those that are already ultra-fit and in shape -- not fat, old ladies like me. Our gym offered a CrossFit class that started in January and they tried to talk me into it because I was scared and I was afraid of failure. Basically, I just didn't want to venture out of my little comfort zone. Mistake!

Our son, Alex, start doing the CrossFit workouts back in April or May. He goes every Saturday and works out with Tyler to help with his endurance, agility, and strength for football. I have watched bits and pieces of his workouts and I know what he goes through. At first, it was hard to watch my son "suffer" and struggle, but I fully appreciate what he is putting his body through.

This morning, Trainer Andy was not available to work out with me. I had two choices: do one of the workouts I'd done with him previously, or take the plunge and workout with Tyler - either with Alex or separately (since Alex is 6' and 196 lbs and I'm 5'6" and 240 lbs...we're sort of on different fitness levels). I decided to take the plunge and give Tyler a try!

He had Alex and I do the same workout, called the "Cindy" (most Xfit workouts are named after women. There are also some with men names that are named after fallen heroes of Iraq and Afghanistan. Those are super-intense "Hero Workouts" and I would feel honored to be able to do one. Just something about the idea...). The Cindy was similar to the workout I did last week. We did 10 squats, 10 jumping pull ups, and 10 push ups. For 20 minutes. As many rounds as possible.

I really thought Alex would blow me away and leave me in the dust. I was pleasantly surprised and quite pleased with myself when we finished and Tyler said that Alex completed 14 rounds and I had completed 12 rounds (120 squats, 120 push ups, 120 jumping pulls ups! I know you can do the math, but it looks so freakin' awesome when I write it out like that)! I was only 2 rounds behind him! HOLY COW! Tyler was impressed with both of us and said we did quite well. And then he and I discussed quite a bit of Xfit stuff and nutrition and he got me really excited about all of it.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, here are a couple of pictures of me just after I got home this morning. Not sure if you can see, but my shirt is drenched about 1/2 way down in the front, and almost all the way down in the back. Yay sweat!

I can't wait to do it again! Honestly and truly! Until you've pushed yourself through an awesomely difficult workout, you have no idea what you are missing. I think that most people have another level that they've never experienced when it comes to working out and they don't push it to there because they are afraid of the pain, the difficulty, or the exertion. I am here to tell you it is totally worth it!

So who else wants to do CrossFit with me??? lol

Posted by ~Diet Goddess~ at 7:25 PM | 3 comments  

Labels: alex, CrossFit, gym, workout

Just got home from the gym and wanted to write about the amazing workout I just did. Worked out with Trainer Andy's wife, Jill. She is this little tiny thing, totally in shape and very fit. She has a great sense of humor and I just adore her. We always have a good time working out together.

So Trainer Andy tells us we're going to do a 20 minute workout, doing as many rounds as we can. We only had 4 exercises to do:

15 body weight squats
10 jumping pull ups
10 push ups
10 clean and press with 15 lb kettlebell (5 on each side)

I got 9 rounds for a total of 135 squats, 90 jumping pull ups, 90 push ups (10 boy/80 girl), and 90 clean & presses.

SWEET!

I had to stop several times to take "breathing breaks" because my chest was feeling tight from the cold I'm fighting, but it was freakin' awesome. Thought I was going to hurl for the first time ever in the gym. Not a good feeling, but I'm glad it's gone now.

Jill got 9 3/4 rounds in, I think. I know she was kicking my butt!

For a 245 lb woman, I think I did pretty damn good, if I do say so myself!

Posted by ~Diet Goddess~ at 11:33 AM | 4 comments  

Labels: exercise, gym, workout

I've lost my voice. Cannot find it anywhere. It started leaving me on Monday and was completely gone today. Hope it comes back soon because it's really a pain to not be able to speak...and have people hear me!

With the voice being gone, there's also a bit of a cold. First cold I've had in about a year, so I really can't complain. While my co-workers were coming down with colds left and right this past winter, yours truly never had one! I attribute it to the increased exercise. Studies have shown (and I cannot cite any at present, but they're out there) that if you increase your exercise, you increase your body's ability to fight off illness. I am a believer!

With the cold, there's been a distinct disinterest in going to the gym. I went Monday night and did my lifting, but I had zero energy to do the 20 minutes I should have done on the elliptical. Tuesday night I went to my nephew's ball game instead of hitting the treadmill for 45 minutes. Last night I went to my exercise class and the instructor tried to send me home. I refused because I've not missed one class yet and I'm not going to start because of a stupid little cold. Again, I did not spend any time doing cardio. Tonight, I came home and slept for 3 hours instead of hitting the treadmill for 45 minutes.

But do I feel guilty for any of this? A smidge, but no more. I wish I felt like doing it all, but I know that my body needs some rest too. I'll get back into it when I feel better.

I did have a really, really down moment, ok...more than just a moment, during my workout Monday night. I caught site of a side-view of myself in the gym mirrors and was very discouraged. I cannot begin to express how frustrating, disheartening, depressing, discouraging, and difficult it is to continue to do everything right with my exercise and nutrition and get no results at the scale. I try not to dwell on it too much, but to be perfectly honest, it's always flitting about in my mind somewhere.

And I try to put on my happy face and pretend that I'm perfectly content with how things are going, but my happy face slipped big time that night. It was all I could do not to burst into tears and stop my workout. Thankfully, I was alone in the gym so no one was there to witness my struggle. I did actually spend a few minutes gazing out the window, asking myself whether I wanted to even bother with finishing the workout or not.

I did manage to finish the workout, but it wasn't my best one because my heart just wasn't in it. A part of me wanted to have a major meltdown and wail and scream and rant and lose my mind. But what good would that do? Instead I thought about the other improvements I've made and convinced myself that even though the scale is obviously stupid, the gym is still my friend. Happy face back in place now!

Now I'm on a quest. Eighty percent of a person's success from exercise comes from their diet (again, I have no sources on this, but I've read it in more than one place). I want desperately to learn as much as I can about nutrition now. And I don't want that BS "nutrition" where you eat 100-calorie packs and use Splenda in place of sugar and chow down on sodium-filled frozen "diet" meals. I want honest-to-goodness NUTRITION! Whole foods, eating "clean" - no processed foods.

I know there's a lot out there that I don't know and it is so hard to find good, reputable information. There's a quack on every corner of the Internet (you didn't even know there were corners on the 'net, did you? Yeah, there are. Don't let me see you standing on one, neither!) trying to convince people that his/her "information" is correct. I'm not looking for a "lose weight quick" scheme or the "newest, hottest weight loss craze." I want good, reliable information and sources for learning how to eat right to give my body the nutrients that it needs to perform at optimum levels. Am I asking too much? I hope not.

I'll keep you informed on my quest. I know that what I'm looking for is out there - I just have to find it!

Posted by ~Diet Goddess~ at 11:16 PM | 2 comments  

Labels: eating, exercise, gym

I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted. Whoops! Lots of things have happened in that time, so let's see if I can remember them all!

First, in the thyroid department, I went back to my doctor in June because I still wasn't feeling right. She said that my last lab results were just outside of normal range, so she increased my meds to 150 mcg (from 125 mcg) and specified that I should take Synthroid and NOT the generic levothyroxine. I've been on it for about a month and I think I feel better. I go back later this month for my next labs, so we'll see how that is going.

I was taking an online algebra class this summer and I ended up dropping it. I just could not handle trying to teach myself algebra and staying up each night until midnight or later, doing homework. Blah! Not how I wanted to spend my summer. The problem was that this class was a prerequisite for the fall class I'm taking. So I had to call the Mathematics Department chair and endure a 10 minute lecture in order for him to waive this prereq for me. If I find myself flailing about in the fall class, I had to promise to go see him and he would put me back in the prereq class. I think I will do much better when I have an actual teacher standing in front of me explaining everything. But time will tell!

Let's see...what else? Oh yeah, my oldest son got his driver's license. Yes, the State of Illinois deemed he was worthy of operating a motor vehicle all on his own. Do you have any idea the worries that this has caused? Oh my. It's been interesting, needless to say.

The day after he got his license, my 16 yr old nephew was involved in a terrible crash that he was lucky enough to walk away from with only a couple of scratches. He was stopped for road construction when a semi slammed into him. The semi driver didn't notice the cars stopped and didn't slow down. The impact sent Brandon flipping over the truck in front of him. I've spoken to two of the other people involved and they told me that they saw his truck flying through the air. The truck in front of him had a propane tank in the bed and it launched into the back window of the vehicle in front of it, landing just inches from a 2 yr old boy in his car seat in the back. There were a total of 5 vehicles involved and NO ONE was hurt. It was truly a miracle.

On the weight loss front, nothing new to see. I'm still hovering between 240 - 245. It's frustrating, but what can you do? I turn in a food log to my trainer's wife, Jill, each week, and she cannot find much wrong with it. I work my butt off in the gym and my body refuses to acknowledge said work. I'm just hanging in there, hoping things will change soon.

I did have an eye-opening experience in the gym about a month ago. If you recall, I joined the gym last May because my town was doing an exercise program and that's what got me started. Thank God! Well, they started up the new one for this year and I learned just how far I had come with our first exercise class. Trainer Andy set up stations similar to those he had for our first class last year - push ups, crunches, step-ups, bicep curls, wall squats w/ball, etc. We did each station for a minute and moved to the next one.

Last year, I struggled with each station. I had to pause during each exercise. I could barely do girl push ups. The wall squats hurt my knees. I think I did maybe 10 crunches because I had to keep stopping. The bicep curls burned like wildfire with 8 lb weights. And so on.

This year, I didn't pause at all. I did 10 boy push ups and then went to girl push ups. Andy saw me and made me do more boy push ups. I did 15 total. Wall squats were no problem. I think I got 30 crunches in 1 minute, no pauses. I used 12 lb weights for my bicep curls and had no problems. And some of the stations, I made the exercise more difficult for myself to give me a challenge. And then I went into the weight room and did 20 minutes of intervals on the elliptical. No way would I have done "extra" work last year!

Since I last posted, I've also done the kettlebell workout twice. That's the one that made me hyperventilate. First time through, I did it in 23:36. Second time through, I did it in 20:15. Yesterday, I did it in 19:15 and I was also talking to two of the guys about nutrition while I did it. And then I did 20 minutes of intervals on the elliptical. And there was no hyperventilating.

One thing I'm struggling with is my continued membership in TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly). The more I learn about nutrition and exercise, the less involved I care to be with ANY organized "weight loss" company/organization/group. That includes Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, etc. They are all so WRONG! They teach you nothing about proper nutrition and it drives me batty. TOPS encourages members to basically count calories. Weight Watchers teaches people to count and do math (POINTS system), and Jenny Craig/NutriSystem teaches people how to work the microwave.

Arrrgh! There's just so much inherently wrong with the weight loss approaches that are thrust in our faces. And it makes me nuts.

But that is a whole 'nother post for a whole 'nother day.

Posted by ~Diet Goddess~ at 10:10 AM | 4 comments  

Labels: alex, college, eating, exercise, gym

Today was a weird day. It started with me hitting and killing a bird on my way to work. Of course, anyone that knows me will know that I wasn't too torn up because I hate birds like you wouldn't believe. So in my book, it wasn't that great of a loss for the world.

Karma bit me on the butt though for my hateful thoughts. When I got to work, I was pulling my umbrella out of the space between the passenger seat and my center console, when it caught on the sticky-out part of my cup holder and busted it off. Nice, very nice. So that will have to be replaced.

Then I had some major, epic problems with our hateful electronic record system at work. My hatred for this program is just about on par with my hatred of evil birds. Today it pulled a major "oopsie" and somehow magically deleted some docs from a student's file. LUCKILY, I can recreate the file in full if the system admin cannot restore from his bag o' magic tricks. Also luckily, I caught the error when it happened. It was not an error on my part, but some bug with the system. Which could have some serious ramifications for the company that sold us the program. My supervisor was not happy, nor impressed. Flesh may be torn from somebody's behind before it's all over. Luckily, not mine (this time)!

Good karma visited me and I got an email from my supervisor, inviting me to attend a national conference related to my line of work in April 2010. The conference is being held in SAN FRANCISCO! Yeah, California! All expenses paid, save for any souvenirs I wish to purchase. I'm excited but I'm also hesitant to go because it would require flying. I hate flying. And I hate when people try to tell me "it's fun!" or "it's not that bad, really." Or any other seemingly placating phrase. It is not fun. It IS that bad. Imagine your very worst fear - spiders, snakes, mice, birds, fire, death, whatever - and imagine being exposed to that fear for 6+ hours. During that 6+ hours you cannot escape your feared thing no matter what. It sucks! And no matter what anyone says or how much THEY enjoy flying - I DO NOT! So there's that.

As I was getting ready to leave work, my best work friend, C, came into my office and I could tell she'd been crying. Her sister had called and told her that her boyfriend (the sister's) had finally passed away. He had been fighting cancer for a very long time and they had just placed him on hospice the previous night. It's more of a blessing than anything because he's not been well for a very long time, but it still hurts to lose someone. C is in her late 50s and her sister is in her 60s, so the boyfriend was also either 60- or 70-something. So he wasn't exactly a spring chicken, but I'm sure none of his loved ones wanted him to go.

Then bad karma decided we weren't finished quite yet. I picked up my kids from school because today was the last full day. They both had things to bring home. Nick's "thing" was a fossil that he had made. It was too fragile (his opinion, not mine) to come home in his backpack while he rode his bike. Alex made a large, wooden podium thing (it's for the radio control racing cars and it's like an Olympic podium, but car-sized...there's a place to put the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place cars....does that make sense?) and wasn't able to carry it, so he did need a legit ride.

I picked up Nick's fragile fossil and he rode his bike home. I picked up Alex and his large podium and we headed for home. On the way we saw one of Alex's friends walking and decided to mess with him a little bit. I pulled up right beside him for Alex to reach out and grab him or something, but Alex decided to "door-check" him. That's where you open your door and bump the person. It was an epic fail, needless to say, because I didn't pull THAT close to him because I didn't want to hit the kid.

When we got home, Alex pulled on the door handle to get out and nothing happened. He broke my dang door! And the window had slipped in the track and was sitting cock-eyed. OMG! Thank you, Karma! GAR!

I seriously considered leaving him in the car as punishment. But instead, I let him out and call Mike at work and yelled at him about it. And then I managed to get the window back in place because it looked like it was going to rain. I figured a car full of water was the last thing I needed, even though it was falling to pieces. I love my car. It's been a dang good car and I want to keep it for forever because they don't make them any more. *sigh*

Since I hadn't been to the gym since my stupid breathing issue on Saturday, I knew I had to go tonight. I really didn't want to after the day I had had, but I needed to. So I changed clothes, filled my water bottle, grabbed my bag, and dashed out the door. I felt like I was forgetting something, but couldn't decide what it could be, so off I went. Got to the gym and realized I had forgotten to grab my stupid gym shoes! I didn't want to drive back home to get them because I knew if I did, I'd say "screw it" and end up sitting on my butt, playing on Facebook all night. So I walked in my street shoes. I did 45 minutes on the treadmill and considered doing 20 minutes on the elliptical, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I had a nice blister forming on my foot anyway from the wrong shoes.

And now I'm going to bed before Karma finds some other way to torture me. If not for the whole trip thing, this day would have been a massive waste of make-up. Hope yours was better.

Posted by ~Diet Goddess~ at 9:39 PM | 4 comments  

Labels: alex, drama, gym, karma, nick, trip

I have not fallen off the face of the earth, I promise. I've been busy finishing up my class (got an A, thank you very much) and just spending some time with my favorite hobby - READING! I am still continuing to work out with Andy at the gym.

We had to take a couple weeks off because I had a conference on one Saturday and he had "something" on the following Saturday. Found out this past Saturday that his "something" was a triathlon. Gee, is that all?

He gave me the most kick-ass workout to date this past weekend. It was a timed circuit and I'd never really done a "timed" anything. All of my workouts have been pretty much at my own pace. If I needed a break, I took it. Not on this one! Well, not really. I could take a break, but since I was racing the clock, I didn't take them.

Some of the exercises involved the use of a kettlebell, which I'd never really worked with too much before. There were kettlebell squats, kettlebell swings, dumbbell rows, dumbbell presses, dips, and my favorite - the overhead throw. That's where I get to hurl a medicine ball at Andy just as hard as I can, aiming for his chest. Can't get enough of that one!

I went through the first circuit and he was really super-impressed with how well I had done. I finished in 10 minutes. He hadn't expected me to do quite that well. Don't ever underestimate what I am capable of, baby! ;) He was so impressed, he had me rest for 2 minutes and then go through the whole circuit AGAIN! The second pass was rough. Really rough. I'm not even going to lie. I did have to pause a few times to catch my breath because I was panting like you wouldn't believe. We finally got to the last exercise of the circuit - kettlebell swings - and I dug deep to finish. I was soooooooooo relieved to finish, too! WHEW! Final time: 23:32! Not bad!

I was absolutely drenched, thirsty, and terribly out of breath. It was THE toughest workout I've ever done. And I LOVED it!

To try to get my breathing back to normal, Andy asked me to walk with him. We walked toward the other end of the building where the large classroom is located and another trainer was torturing....errrr....training another victim....errrr...client. As we were walking, I found myself suddenly wheezing for breath and feeling that I could not get any oxygen into my lungs. I had no idea what was happening or why. I panicked...which made it worse. Andy screamed for help from the other trainer and they got me to a nearby bench. I still couldn't get oxygen and I was absolutely terrified out of my mind --- and MORTIFIED that this was happening.

Somehow I managed to choke out for them to call Mike and gave our phone number (thank God we only need to give the last 4 digits in this town and everyone knows the rest). Andy was timing my pulse and trying to talk me down. I was mentally trying to calm my body, too, and I could finally feel the pressure release in my chest. It was like gates were lifted to my lungs and the oxygen was finally able to flow. Thank you, God!

Mike arrived shortly after to find me just fine. We only live about 1/2 mile from the gym, but apparently he drove about 80 mph to get there. Ok, not really, but he said he wanted to. I couldn't apologize enough to the other trainer and Andy. And Andy couldn't apologize enough to me. He said he felt like he let me down and I assured him that he didn't. I'm the moron that forgot how to breathe. And naturally, being the bass-ackward person that I am - I waited until the training session was completely OVER to start having some sort of attack! lol

And that was my first-ever experience hyperventilating. Let's not do it again because it sucked.

Andy has instructed me to do only 1/2 the reps on the exercises if I try that routine again. Well, I'm not going to. I'm going to do exactly what we did Saturday, but I'm not going to push as hard. I think I was trying to breathe too deeply and get too much oxygen and my body said, "No, that's not what you should be doing right now. Please listen. Please! Listen! We do not want that much oxygen. Please, will you listen? Not so much with the oxygen. Ok, she's not listening. SHUT DOWN LUNGS!"

Perhaps not, but that's what I'm going to believe.

So other than that minor hiccup, the training is going great. I continue to do the workout on the elliptical and I am getting so much better. The first time I did the Sprint 8 workout on it, I only went a total of 0.6 miles. Last time I did it, I went 0.9 miles! I've also been walking the most hilly route I can find in our flat little town, which is a 3.2 mile route that takes me through the hills in our little cemetery. I love walking there. It's so peaceful!

Next weekend we begin our city-wide exercise program again. This is the same program that got me to join the gym a year ago. I can't wait to see what changes they've made for this year's program. Even though I didn't lose as much weight as I had hoped during the past year, I am much healthier, much stronger, and smarter about nutrition. Things can only continue to get better, right?

Posted by ~Diet Goddess~ at 9:53 PM | 2 comments  

Labels: exercise, gym, personal trainer

I've been working out at the gym for almost a year now. My official "anniversary" will be May 13. In that time, I've lost 22 lbs and gained back 10 of those pounds. My eating hasn't been perfect...or even close to it. And weight loss is 80% diet, so I've failed myself rather than the gym failing me.

Even though the pounds haven't fallen off my body as I had hoped, I never gave up going to the gym. It has become a habit. A GOOD habit to have. And now I can't imagine NOT going. Sure, there are nights that I talk myself out of going, but I can't imagine not having the gym as part of my life from now on. On the nights that I have to talk myself into going, I'm usually happy about 5 minutes after I get there anyway. And when I skip, I feel incredibly guilty. But I know it is something that I do for me and only me.

This morning I worked out with the gym's owner, Andy C. I told him that I wanted a challenge, I wanted to hurt, I wanted him to KILL ME. I didn't want to walk from the gym - I wanted to crawl. I wanted him to bring his most hardcore, Jillian Michaels-like workout. I told him that I didn't want him to baby me or treat me with kid gloves. I wanted him to do his worst. Yes, I even asked him to "bring tha pain."

And he agreed to it all.

And he held up his end of the bargain.

And it was absolutely excellent.

And I can't wait to do it again next week.

My arms and legs are still quivering as I type this and I've been home for over an hour. LOVE IT! The things he had me do weren't difficult to execute, but it was the length of time and amount of exertion that I put into it that increased the difficulty level. If he told me to do 12-15 reps of something, I did 15. If he told me I should be feeling the "burn" in a certain part and I didn't, we worked until I DID feel it there. No sense doing an exercise if the form is incorrect.

Andy brought me out of my little cocoon on some things. This morning, for the first time since junior high - I think - I did BOY push ups! And they were challenging. Girl push ups have been fairly easy for a while and I thought about changing, but it was so much easier to continue to go with the flow. Now I know I am capable of boy push ups. I can't do lot of them, but I'll get there!

A few other exercises that I had been doing, I knew I needed to increase the weight but, again, I liked it in my comfort zone. Today, I stepped out and increased the weight and made those exercises more difficult. It was good. It was also hard, but I liked it. I liked it a lot.

I got to try the Bosu ball and it was fun! We started out with a very simple exercise of just standing and balancing on the ball part. Looks pretty simple, but it's a little more challenging than it appears and it involves using a lot of muscles, especially core muscles. LOVED IT! To increase the challenge, he had me hold a 10 pound medicine ball and then he pushed on the ball from all angles while I had to maintain my balance and hold the ball at the same level. Very fun!

He assigned me homework for the week. I have to do the weight lifting workout twice, so I'll do it on Monday and Wednesday. I'm also supposed to get in at least 45 minutes on the treadmill twice a week, so I'll do that on Tuesday and Thursday. One of those walks has to be outside, preferably in an area with hills....which is hard to find where I live because it's pretty flat, but I do have a couple of places in mind. One is the cemetery and the other is a few miles outside of town at a camping area. Of course, this part of the homework will depend on the weather and it's been pretty rainy here.

Oh, also on my weight nights, I'm supposed to do the "Sprint 8" workout on the elliptical. The elliptical and I have never really become friends. I've tried, believe me, I've tried. But the elliptical doesn't extend the same courtesy to me. He doesn't care how much he makes my legs burn or how much sweat I pour on him. He's just very unfeeling about it all. He's not like my good friend, Treadmill, but that's ok.

After my weight workout this morning, I did 30 minutes on my friend, Treadmill, like I was told. But I also decided to try the Sprint 8, just to see what it was like. It was hard. I'm not even going to lie. It was very hard. But here's the best part -- I did it! I did 20 minutes on the elliptical! I'd only been able to do 5 minutes before, but I pushed myself through the full workout and I managed to make it through. It was great! Elliptical and I may be friends after all!

I'm anxious to see how sore I'm going to be tomorrow. Should be interesting!

Posted by ~Diet Goddess~ at 1:03 PM | 3 comments  

Labels: exercise, gym, personal trainer